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Archive for the ‘He said what?’ Category

Cousins

Trying to tune out 3 hyper children running around my house. Overhearing bits of their conversation.

My niece: “A Princess never gives up!”

My nephew:  “Not fair, you have more things than me, Michael!”

Misha: “You should’ve got them first.”

Nephew: “NOT FAIR!! I want them!”

Misha: “Mooooom!!!”

Niece: “Those crazy boys.”

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– Misha, go upstairs and brush your teeth.

Silence.

– Misha, I said go upstairs. Now.

Nothing.

– Are you listening to me?? This is the last time I am telling you this!!!

He is lifting up his head, looking around:

– What are you suggesting for me to do, Mom?

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– Mom, you know, Earth is the best planet to live on. All these other planets have all that stuff on them. I don’t ever want to move from Earth.

(Awww. Because we were looking at a couple of places on Mars, but the taxes are just astronomical there.)

—————————————————————————-

– Misha, did you buckle up?

– No.

– How many times do I have to tell you to do it??!!

– But, Mom… I told the truth!

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– Mom, when you saw Dad, you fell in love with him?

– Yes, but he had to work hard, too – be nice to me, buy me flowers.

– I know what you mean, Mom. Women are so hard to deal with…

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Mom, today was a horrible day! (Insert name here) was chasing me! And (insert another name here) stepped on me! STEPPED!!! I was just sitting there, reading a book, and he stepped on my tummy, well, my back tummy. And then he fell on me and stepped on my front tommy. And it hurt! Well, a little. Like, I couldn’t breathe! But I am alive.

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Gems

– Mom, if I did something bad, I couldn’t go to jail, right? Because I am still a kid.

– Well, you could go to kid’s jail. (Me, thinking I should scare him before he implements his evil plans)

– Oh. Do they have TV and Play Station at this kid’s jail?

– Nope. No TV, no toys, nothing.

– Hmm. And what kind of food do they have there?

– Well, actually they would ask you what kind of food you really, really HATE, and then they would make you eat it every day.

– Ok, then I’ll just tell them that I really hate ice cream!!

………….

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Misha is reading a meeting announcement on the wall: “Board meeting, all residents are welcome.”

– Mom, look. All residents can come! Even people!

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